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[09 Feb 2006|05:39pm] |
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul
That makes us reach for more, plants a fire in our hearts
&& brings peace to our minds.
That’s what you’ve given me ...
And that's what I hope to give you forever <3
I have you & I have everything I need
From that first look, I knew I found heaven in your eyes
Because I was loved ...
When I hold you, I hold everything I dream of
This world seems so right with you
And I'll never forget ...
I thank God for every moment that I have you here
Some people search their whole lives
And never find what I have found in you
I'm glad that I've been blessed to have you in my life
Because I am loved
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[01 Jan 2006|07:47pm] |
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well it is 2006 . . . another year is over.
After all this time, i never thought we'd be here, but we are. When my love for you was blind, i couldnt make you see it. See that i love you more than you'll ever know. I used to fall asleep in hopes of dreaming that everything would be okay ... but nights of hope are slowly fleeting, it seems, and they disappear as reality crashes to the floor.
We aren't going to live forever, so is it now or never? I can't make up your mind for you . . . I can't live without you, but i don't want to live a lie.
Last night was TONS of fun ... with carli & (later) melody & sarah. ((Heath bars, piggy pizza, chocolate cappaccino's, our dance, sarah being a mean laugher, the wreath on the floor ...))and today was too !! At islands with chala, cartles, shal, sarah and michelle. I can't believe michelle had no idea what was going on. it was great && once again, we ordered way too much food. But its okay because i love you girls and every time i feel like i have nothing, i turn around and you are there, backing me up and proving that you do care. theres alot that i dont understand right now, so it means alot to me that you guys are here. =]
I'll be gone til wednesday in big bear ... but dont forget about me.
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[27 Dec 2005|06:22pm] |
i hope y'all had a greaaat Christmas.
i know that i most definitely did.
i cant believe its over already. it came and went so fast, but now we have New Year's to look forward to. =]
Being perfect is not about winning. Its about you and your relationship with yourself, your friends, and your family. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is that you did everything you could. There wasnt one more thing you could've done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that, than your perfect.
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[24 Nov 2005|08:44pm] |
I am thankful for . . .
Laughter. my house. The tree in my backyard. My family. my doggie & my kitty. tulips and roses and sunflowers. ice cream on hot days/hot chocolate on cold days. Jamba juice. The rain and thunderstorms and lightening. strength and angels. Jessie, my rock and my lucky ducky. my friends and family back in New Hampshire and MA. Nathan, my dream come true. the sun and the moon. all my memories. trust. the stars. sailboats and trains. my comfy pajamas. hearts and peace signs. chocolate and water. emily, my pinky slinky. the ocean and dolphins and whales. beautiful sunsets and sunrises. friendship. shalini, my esa. the clouds when they are pink and purple. pretty necklaces. Harry, Hermione and Ron. my pillow and blankie. Mychala, my number one hugger. my dolphin lamp and bear stuffed animal. my warm slippers. stories. Michelle, my walnut sister. pies and cakes. true happiness. self expression. Sarah, my Samuel. the ability to live and feel. smiles and tears. forgiveness. Carli, my cartles. soccer. these past years. Cape Cod and Kauai. Corinna, my rinna winna. poems. my church. hope and faith. reason and meaning. and love
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[30 Sep 2005|03:27pm] |
I don’t know, I just cant read the signs anymore.
I don’t understand how it all works. Sometimes I wish I did, and other times I wish I didn’t. Its so unfair, but its all expected.
Now that I think back, I don’t get how I didn’t see it coming. Everything is a huge mess now, and I don’t know how to undo it. I can’t say the right things. I was never able to anyways, so why does it matter. If I cant make myself better, than how am I supposed to make this better? I cant.
Its so simple, yet so complicated. I just don’t get it at all. But let me tell you … never get stuck assuming something like this ever again. Because what was said, was not true. Trust me. You have taken the words right out of my mouth, so it seems like there is nothing left.
But who knows, maybe it will all be okay in the end. I still have hope and my dreams. And even though dreams aren’t real, they still mean something to me.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could take it all away. You don’t deserve the pain, I do. But please try to believe that it will be okay. And that in the end, every bad thing that happens has a reason. Don’t listen to them all, listen to yourself and what you think will happen. Be strong because if you aren’t, how is anyone else supposed to be?
Look to the person who lifts you up above all the hurt. Hold on to them, don’t let them go. Being here for me is everything that I could have asked for. There is a smile on my face because of you. These past few days, I have actually been able to laugh because of you. Thanks.
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[26 Sep 2005|05:11pm] |
that's so fetch !
he's so totally crunching on you !
i love you two .. so much. no one even knows. no matter what, you always help and talk to me even when it seems like the world is out to get me. just .. thanks thats all.
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[14 Sep 2005|06:03pm] |
The word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before,
But you never really had a doubt.
maybe ...
your gonna be the one to save me.
Cause there's no one ...
who gets me like you do.
spend time with the people
who make you happy =]
they always bring out the best in you.
for now, i am at a loss for words.
but i guess thats what happens
when you feel the way i do
about somebody.
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[05 Sep 2005|06:46pm] |
school is back again.
another summer has come & passed.
sigh.
be you or be nobody.
be thankful or be quiet.
dont tell me how to feel or who to be.
i love you even if they dont.
life is a funny, wonderful thing.
smile always <3
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[22 Aug 2005|11:29am] |
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saturday was jessie's birthday !!
yeah me and her definitely partied it up. we went to subway & panda fresh and ate PARKAYY and ketchup !!! yeah we basically hung around and talked and threw rocks in the pool to relieve our anger. then met up with emily and went to coldstones & in jessie's spa. it was the best ever. no joke. i missed them so much.
sunday was SUNDAY !!
me and nathan went to spencer's championship game together and they definitely won. we basically just had a mocha smoothie thing and talked to larry and haley. but it was fun because there weren't any dinosaurs there. =] oh and i got my gift too. its the most beautiful thing ever, just like nathan! its been one year & i love him more than ever.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you
And all the roads we had to walk were winding
And all the lights that lead us here were blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how ...
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[16 Aug 2005|04:13pm] |
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a few more weeks of summer. 2 to be exact.
nothing is really that new.
had a tournament this weekend.
went to 6 flags with nathan yesterday. that was ALOT of fun.
*mammals are a type of cake*look at that guy on that horse hah he cant get it*
talked to shal today .. she gets to visit the place where they filmed the SOUND OF MUSIC. lucky her.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes
We've built a love but if our love falls apart
our little piece of heaven turns to dark.
so much for summer of the crescent girls, right jess?
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[08 Aug 2005|04:20pm] |
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life is good.
me and nate finally went to the beach together on friday. we definitely made a sand castle named sandy land and got salty fries and got 'attacked' by dolphins. it was alot of fun, i must say. i am so happy with him. he's the best.
yesterday i went shopping and bought some things. then i spent the rest of the night with jessie. we hung around, went to baskin robbins & rented the notebook. then watched it, cried (of course) and went to sleeeep. this morning we went to fashion oaks. *bumble buzzzzzzz* *mac & me*
and then was gregory's party. alot of people were there .. and the ice fight was intense. greg is a great cook with an even greater hat. and sarah's shirt reminds michelle of the notebook which is cool. eric showed up too, and his hair is amazing.
well it's only me, michelle, sarah & jessie here in moorpark. emily, carli, corinna, mychala and shal are gone. its very sad.
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts, and brings peace to our minds. that's what you've given me and that's what i hope to give to you forever.
Do you think our love can create miracles? I think our love can do anything we want it to.
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[30 Jul 2005|06:42pm] |
new background made by miss jessie ((i helped too!))
once again, i realize how wrong my expectations were. throughout the course of several weeks shock has turned to anger, anger to disappointment and now, disappointment to sadness. this familiar empty feeling waits for me after a smile and lingers at the end of a laugh. summer, i have realized, is the season of change. and with that change comes a painful truth.
every night, i am left worrying about what is meant to last. my thoughts clash into eachother and i lose focus of everything. my eyes ache, heavy with held back emotions. stupid, some would call them. and they are right. i am selfish and ungrateful, this is true.
i want meaning to come back. i want songs to play in my head again. i want to look into the eyes of others without looking upon painful memories or without holding back. i want to see your smiles every day of my life. i want everything to be as it was. will it ..
the past and present are seperated by time. but as time goes on, i wonder if i will ever be able to live for the day that is given to me.
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[27 Jul 2005|09:26am] |
so i got back from colorado 6 days ago & it was amazing. we:
*went shopping
*went white water rafting
*drove to pikes peak
*saw garden of the gods
*saw the airforce academy
*played soccer
*and got attacked by lightening
since then i have .. hung out with michelle, sarah, carli, chalers, corinna and jessie. yesterday was the BBUS with carli, mychala and corinna. and it was amazing.
*mychala want another corndog? did the seagull just take IT !?!?
*im lucky
*emily, nathans moving
*alright guys, show us your volleyball skill
*carli, that man is scary
*lets go pee in the ocean ! the dolphins do flips !
i love you guys to death
&&&&& HAPPY BIRTHDAY MYCHALA !!
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[15 Jul 2005|03:19pm] |
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i leave for colorado tomorrow. for a soccer tournament. ill be back on friday.
ill miss my kk, ws, belle, cori, hippie and shmurly gurlie tons. i love all of you and i hope i see all you guys when i get back so we can hang out and so i can show you all my pictures.
*i miss your laughs. i miss your smiles. i miss your craziness. i miss our talks. i miss our stupidity. i miss our boredom. i miss our meals. i miss your jokes. i miss your support. i miss the way you needed me. i miss seeing your faces. i miss our stories. i miss our singing & dancing. i miss the promises we made.*
i miss you so much, but you dont even know.
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[26 Jun 2005|12:57pm] |
summer's been busy so far ..
*trying on wedding dresses & hippie outfits
*going to dance performances
(( michelle your amazing ))
*looking at bird poop
*seeing a man break his chair
*running without spilling hot chocolate
*falling with sandals on
*learning about morals of stories
*missing my esa ..
it's been fun and i've hung out with everyone.
some more than others though ...
can't wait til tuesday night THE QUEST !!
((shal we all miss you tons, you DONT even know. i cant wait to see you on the 31st. please write me TONS !!))
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